I'm sure by now you have all heard about the controversy that erupted after Slate columnist Aisha Harris suggested that Santa Claus be replaced by a "holiday penguin," which she perceived to be more inclusive than a rosy-cheeked white fat guy from up North.

And then Megyn Kelly of Fox News got in trouble for saying in response that Santa Claus was (1) a real dude and (2) a white dude.

At ...

We're having a PRESIDENT'S DAY SALE on people who share too much on the Internet! We are overstocked!

Everything must go, go, go!

"By George! I do not need to know every minute detail of thy life, people! I have a country to father!"

"TMFI"* is not only incredibly annoying, but it's also putting people's jobs in jeopardy.

*Too Much Flippin' Information.

Before I continue, please know that I ...