If we don't laugh, we'll cry, right? In honor of Phyllis Diller, the queen of the one-liners, who died this week, and her counterpart, the great Henny Youngman, here is the latest labor and employment news - all in one-liners, of course.

"A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once."

"Take my federal agencies -- please!" The National Labor Relations Board has taken the position ...

I conducted harassment training this week for a client, and, interestingly, the attendees of all ages seemed to be more curious about age-based harassment than any of the other categories we discussed.

Meanwhile, there has been a debate on the internet this week that is of grave concern to us all.

No, I'm not talking about whether Mitt Romney committed an intolerable gaffe by criticizing ...

"Ai, ai . . . ai, ai . . . have you ever danced in the tropics,

In that lazy, hazy, like

Kind of crazy, like

South American way?

"Ai, ai . . . ai, ai . . . have you ever kissed in the moonlight,

in the grand and glorious,

gay notorious*

South American way?"

*Those really are the words to the song.

Down South America Way, © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., EMI Music Publishing.

Oh, those wild and crazy ...

Here's a strange little case for ya . . .

A loss prevention manager for a major retail store chain -- we'll call her "Loretta" -- had some performance issues in the past but was only five days away from the satisfactory completion of a performance improvement plan. She and a male loss prevention partner were called to investigate a sexual harassment complaint. During the investigation ...

Ah, February! The month of love! Of course, if you're a lawyer, you see the worst of humanity and never get to hear about true, faithful, honorable, self-sacrificial love -- sexual harassment is as close to "love" as we ever get. (See, you thought lawyers were just jerks - now you feel sorry for us!)

So, in honor of St. Valentine's Day, this is the best I can do. Here are two recent sexual ...

It's been another zany week or so in the world of labor and employment law, rivalling Groucho, Harpo, Chico and Zeppo. Here are a few items that jumped out at me. (Each subhead is a line from a Marx Brothers movie or the title of a Marx Brothers movie. Answers at the end.)

"Hurry up, or you'll be late for jail!" Pepsi Beverages (formerly Pepsi Bottling Co.) agreed to a pre-litigation settlement ...

After a great holiday feast, isn't it fun just to eat the leftovers? Like a nice, cold roast beast sandwich with a wedge of leftover pie? Yum!

Here are some great labor and employment blog "leftovers" from the holidays that I hope you will enjoy as much as I did, followed by a few new year's resolutions for employers and employees. Please add to my list!

In case you were chillaxin' last week and ...

What a year, am I right or am I right? Here is a catalog of the major employment and labor law developments from 2011. And, just to keep it entertaining, I've started off each month with a weird but true off-topic story that was in the news that month. Many thanks to Drudge Report archives for the strange stuff. Thanks also to Esquire magazine's annual Dubious Achievement Awards (sadly ...

UPDATE: Daniel Schwartz of Connecticut Employer Law Blog has made some excellent additions to the list below. We could go on like this all day! Check it out.

My friend and employee/plaintiff's lawyer, Lee Smith of Atlanta (who does not have a web page, and who neither blogs nor tweets!), has been corresponding with me about the words that no employee's lawyer ever wants to hear from a ...

A cornucopia of random employment law issues for your long weekend.

Lessons for employers from the Natalie Wood investigation. (OK, I admit this is a shameless tie-in designed to get you to read a legal blog over a holiday weekend.) But the reopening of the Natalie Wood drowning investigation after 30 years does contain a good lesson for employers -- to wit, that no matter how much time has ...